Over coffee with a friend, we were discussing personal boundaries and she commented on my strong sense of self. Some may call this selfishness, I call it a vehicle to keep my sanity. The conversation continued with her relaying a story in which she apologized to someone for absolutely no reason. I stopped her and asked her to stop apologizing for everything she didn't do wrong. Within one conversation, I saw her change from someone who blended into the background to an empowered woman. So, partly in honor of Women's History Month and also as a good kick in the ass to all of us who lose that strong sense of self once in a while, I offer these reminders...oh, and when you notice me losing it, please not so kindly remind me to follow my own advice....
Always love yourself first: Cliched or not, if you don't love your self, you are unable to truly love anyone else. True Story!
Stay True to You: Though boundaries may need to be fluid at times, never compromise what makes you, well, you.
Never Apologize for Something You Haven't Done: It's been ingrained in us to say "I'm sorry" for things that have nothing to do with a wrong doing. Unless you're speaking about a loss of a life or if you have done something to hurt or offend, either intentionally or unintentionally, do not apologize for your convictions or honesty, or someone else's faults. This includes your music tastes:)
Always Apologize For Wrongs: Own them! Apologize immediately, only once, and mean it when you do. For repeated offenses, find the root cause of why you keep making the same stupid mistake and fix it.
Mean What You Say, Say What You Mean: Though tact needs to be included, fancy buzz words & cliched phrases usually fog over your genuineness. Find a way to articulate your intentions without having to say "What I really meant was_____"
Always Have a Soundtrack: Music is empowering, comforting, & cathartic.
Have a "Room of One's Own": The AMAZING Virginia Woolf had it right with this one. Everyone needs a mental and physical space to create, reflect, and take "me" time. Find it each and every day.
Don't Be Afraid to Ask for Help: Friends and family love you and everyone needs a support system at one or several points along the ups and downs of life. Put the ego away. No, you're not weak and look to them for guidance, the ability to put a voice to something, or just a good cry.
Absolutely excellent vehicles of riding the waves of life. I would like to add three additional thoughts I try to enjoy everyday. One being surround yourself with a pet, hopefully a live one. There's nothing like coming home from a crappy day and just seeing a little face so happy to see you and share unconditional love. At that moment you stop and everything steps to the back seat for a while until you want to bring it forward and take care of it. Two is: I try to say and/or do something nice for someone. When you see someone's face light up from your compliment or deed you feel a rush of empowerment. Three is I try to walk a bit each day. Even with the cold weather, you can feel such accomplishment that you donned the 3 layers of clothing, snow boots and other assorted gear and did it. None of the above have to be earth shattering events of a day, just a glimmer to help keep your sanity. It's all in the little things. Nice post JHC
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